Who needs a rest day anyway?

Spotted: Lisa Raymond at large and does Dani have a boyfriend?

Still can’t believe this YouTube vid of the Bonderenko sisters arguing over going to the toilet during training.

The Importance of being Janko Tipsarevic

The Championships Men:

Tursunov misses a great opportunity. Still one German left – who’d have picked it would be Schuettler? Clement and Tipsarevic the surprises.

Davydenko’s Quarter

Bye bye: Tursunov, Melzer.

Tipsarevic now favourite to win quarter?

Nadal’s Quarter

Bye bye: Haas, Stepanek

Nadal still favourite to win quarter

Fed’s Quarter

Match to watch Monday: Federer vs Hewitt

Djokovic’s Quarter

Match to watch Monday: Baghdatis vs Lopez

The Championships Women:

Jankovic prances through to the fourth round with not a little drama while Safina succumbs to injury (but will stay to cheer Marat).

Sharapova’s Quarter

Bye bye: Safina, Azarenka.

Dementieva favourite to win quarter

Jankovic’s Quarter

Bye bye: Erakovic, Wozniacki
Jankovic still on track to win quarter

Ivanovic’s Quarter

Match to watch Monday: Vaidisova vs Chakvetadze

Kuznetsova’s Quarter

Match to watch Monday: Kuznetsova vs Radwanska

Wimbledon

The Championships Men:
Federer and Hewitt stroll, Berdych crashes as usual and the last American can stop requesting a later flight.

Fed’s Quarter

Bye bye: Berdych, Ferrer

Federer still on track to win quarter

Djokovic’s Quarter

Bye bye: Reynolds

Safin now favourite to win quarter

Davydenko’s Quarter

Matches to watch: Tursunov vs Tipsarevic, Melzer vs Clement

Nadal’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Murray vs Haas, Stepanek vs Youzhny

The Championships Women:

No date with Bond for Bartoli, Strycova gets in hysterics (never seen her play before but she’s an admirable headcase…), Mauresmo’s season becoming eerily predictable and just what is Bethanie Mattek doing in the fourth round of a Major? Leaning towards Vaidisova to make Semi…

Ivanovic’s Quarter

Bye bye: Ivanovic, Dellacqua

Vaidisova to win this quarter

Kuznetsova’s Quarter

Bye bye: Strycova, Pavlyuchenkova, Mauresmo, Bartoli

Radwanska still on track to win quarter

Sharapova’s Quarter

Matches to watch: Peer vs Safina, Azarenka vs Petrova

Jankovic’s Quarter

Matches to watch: Erakovic vs Tanasgurn, Jankovic vs Wozniacki

Interesting analysis of Sharapova’s game at Extreme Tennis

Oh Maria!

The Championships Men:

Tipsarevic looked a million dollars (those silly tats notwithstanding) taking Fed to 5 sets in Melbourne, now he beats Roddick on grass – is it a Serbian thing? We know James Blake is a chronic underachiever at Majors but losing to Schuettler in the second round? Was French cutie Cornet checking out a replacement for Monfils at the Chardy match?
Quote of the day: “Zero, zero, zero,” said Roddick.

Davydenko’s Quarter
Bye bye: Roddick, Blake
Tursunov now favourite to win quarter?

Nadal’s Quarter
Bye bye: Robredo
Nadal still on track to win quarter

Fed’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Berdych vs Verdasco, Ancic vs Ferrer

Djokovic’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Safin vs Seppi

The Championships Women:

So this was Maria’s Championships to lose and she duly lost it. And she got her style dissed: “I don’t like her outfit,” Kudryavtseva said. “It’s a little too much of everything. … It was one of the motivations to beat her.” Erakovic looks good but how did Zvonareva lose to a wounded (or stalling) Tanasugarn? One day very soon one of these cannon fodder players are going to take advantage of Venus’ error-prone game...

Sharapova’s Quarter
Bye bye: Davenport, Sharapova
Dementieva now favourite to win quarter?

Jankovic’s Quarter
Bye bye: Hantuchova, Zvonareva
Jankovic still on track to win quarter

Ivanovic’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Ivanovic vs Zheng, Dellacqua vs Vaidisova

Kuznetsova’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Pavlyuchenkova vs Radwanska, Mauresmo vs S Williams

The Safinator!

The Championships Men:

How good was Safin? He destroyed Djokovic and must be a (dare we say it) favourite now.

Fed’s Quarter
Bye bye: Soderling, Andreev
Federer still on track to win quarter

Djokovic’s Quarter
Bye bye: Djokovic, Ferrero
Safin now favourite to win quarter?

Davydenko’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Roddick vs Tipsarevic

Nadal’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Robredo vs Haas, Gasquet vs Grosjean


The Championships Women:

How bad was Ivanovic? If not for the netcord she’d be on a plane home and she knew it, hiding her face in her hat. Her quarter is still wide open with a dismal Vaidisova giving up against Stosur and losing nine games in a row before finally regaining interest and skipping home against an opponent who could only watch. Maybe this is Chakvetadze’s quarter after all.

Ivanovic’s Quarter
Bye bye: Stosur, Dechy,
Anyone could win this quarter (nb anyone means Ivanovic, Vaidisova or Chakvetadze)

Kuznetsova’s Quarter
Bye bye: Bonderenko(s)
Radwanska still on track to win quarter

Sharapova’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Davenport vs Dulko, Azarenka vs Cirstea

Jankovic’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Kleybanova vs Hantuchova, Erakovic vs Goerges, Wozniack vs Wozniacki

Fashion plus

The Championships

Men:
Davydenko’s Quarter
Bye bye: Davydenko, Ljubicic.
Roddick still on track to win quarter

Nadal’s Quarter
Bye bye: Santoro, Fish.
Nadal still on track to win quarter

Fed’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Federer vs Soderling, Ferrer vs Andreev

Djokovic’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Djokovic vs Safin, Baghdatis vs Johansson

Notes: Davydenko can scurry back to play on clay now.

The Championships

Women:
Sharapova’s Quarter
Bye bye: Safarova
Sharapova still on track to win quarter

Jankovic’s Quarter
Bye bye: Krajicek
Jankovic still on track to win quarter

Ivanovic’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Vaidisova vs Stosur, Rodina vs Vesnina

Kuznetsova’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Domachowska vs Radwanska, Bartoli vs Perebiynis

Notes: Wozniacki only choked a little, Georges over Srebotnik 16-14 in the third. Good win for Erakovic, Rybarikova was leading 4-2 on the third when play stopped Monday – when play resumed Tuesday she didn’t win another game.

Cross out the Seeds

The Championships Men:
Fed’s Quarter
Bye bye: Llodra, Ginepri and Monfils.
Federer still on track to win quarter

Djokovic’s Quarter
Bye bye: Nalbandian and Karlovic.
Djokovic still on track to win quarter

Davydenko’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Becker vs Davydenko,

Roddick vs Schwank

Nadal’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Santoro vs Murray, Anderson vs Calleri

Notes: Poor Guccione, The perennial underachiever was set to face top prospect Monfils but the Frenchman pulled out injured and Guccione had to face Lucky Loser Bozoljac instead. Lucky indeed as he consigned Guccione to his usual early exit.

The Championships Women:
Ivanovic’s Quarter
Bye bye: Cibulkova, Schnyder and Olaru.
Anyone could win this quarter (nb anyone means Ivanovic, Vaidisova or Chakvetadze)

Kuznetsova’s Quarter
Bye bye: Cornet, Kirilenko, Rodionova, Benesova, Harkleroad, Zakopalova and Lisicki.
Radwanska still on track to win quarter

Sharapova’s Quarter
Matches to watch: Safina vs Chan, Govortsova vs Petrova

Jankovic’s Quarter
Matches to watch: V Williams vs Cavaday, Hantuchova vs Errani, Krajicek vs Erakovic

Notes: Cibulkova, Cornet, Lisicki and Olaru show that they are still very much works in progress. Tonight we see if Wozniacki learnt anything from their losses.

The Championships - The slacker’s guide to who might win

Men:

It's business as usual for Federer and Nadal and only interest is whether Djokovic can win his semi-final with Fed. Roddick vs Tursunov should decide who gets to lose to Nadal.

Fed’s Quarter
Seeds: Hewitt, Gonzalez, Ferrer, Verdasco, Llodra
Players to watch: Monfils, Nishikori, Ancic
Winner: Federer

Djokovic’s Quarter
Seeds: Ferrero, Nalbandian, Karlovic, Baghdatis
Players to watch: Safin, Querrey
Winner: Djokovic

Davydenko’s Quarter
Seeds: Roddick, Tursunov, Blake, Nieminen
Players to watch: Tipsarevic
Winner: Roddick

Nadal’s Quarter
Seeds: Gasquet, Robredo, Murray, Youzhny
Players to watch: Fish, Haas, Malisse, Santoro
Winner: Nadal

Final: Federer vs Nadal
Winner: Roger Federer


Women:

Cibulkova, Cornet and Lisicki to have big tournements but Sharapova to come through.

Ivanovic’s Quarter
Seeds: Cibulkova, Schiavone, Schnyder, Vaidisova, Chakvetadze
Players to watch: Rybarikova, Dellacqua, Stosur, Olaru, Vesnina
Winner: Chakvetadze

Kuznetsova’s Quarter
Seeds: A Bondarenko, Cornet, Radwanska, Bartoli, Kirilenko, S Williams
Players to watch: Rodionova, Benesova, Harkleroad, Zakopalova, Lisicki
Winner: Radwanska

Sharapova’s Quarter
Seeds: Dementieva, Davenport, Safina, Petrova
Players to watch: Kutuzova
Winner: Sharapova

Jankovic’s Quarter
Seeds: V Williams, Pennetta, Hantuchova, Zvonareva, Wozniacki
Players to watch: Erakovic, Tanasugarn
Winner: V Williams

Final: Radwanska vs Sharapova
Winner: Maria Sharapova

Wimbledon

So it’s strawberries and cream time – Can you order virtual strawberries and cream online?

The Serbs are a chance to add to their Major collection, so are (one of) the Williams sisters, TMF (The Mighty Fed) should be favourite – but don’t tell that to Rafa. Safina’s close to breaking through and could win if someone chokes and Henin’s retired.

Murray’s overrated, Hewitt’s on one leg, Rybarikova qualified and Sharapova’s wearing shorts. Good luck to them all.

In vaguely important leadup news Radwanska wins, Karlovic wins, Ferrer wins, Safina chokes, Petrova loses yet again.

Meanwhile Roddick threw his racquet at the garbage can. Yep, he’s a contender.

The state of English tennis

Scotsman Andy Murray isn’t English but the English will claim him and hold him close to their bosom with The Championships about to start. Now everything becomes British. British tennis, Britain’s top hope, Britain’s Andy Murray. England is forgotten and quite rightly, the top English player is ranked 260 and will be again a mere footnote once the grass season is over (it only lasts four weeks).

The biggest and most famous tennis tournament in the world is held at Wimbledon every year and makes truckloads of money. Most of this goes to the LTA who spends $50 million a year of it on developing British tennis. It is hard to see what they are getting for their money.

The 11th ranked Murray sees it differently. According to his book, timed to cash in with England’s seasonal tennis obsession, it is because the players aren’t willing to put in the effort. They are lazy and don’t train on weekends. He knows this because he does go to the gym on weekends and doesn’t see other players there. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Do you think there will be much pressure on Murray if he doesn’t win Wimbledon?

Wozniacki wins

Reborn Viking warrior Caroline Wozniacki struck another blow for the new guard as she wiped Sveta from Eastbourne. The Danish teenager has an unusual game: she neither bashes the ball mindlessly like a baseliner – although she can hit it hard – nor does she outthink her opponent – although she appears to possess a decent tennis brain. She just competes for everything and occasionally blasts away. And she is a junior Wimbledon champ so it works at least a little.

She’s also a bit of a headcase, bring defaulted from the junior US Open for swearing in English. Why does a Dane swear in English? Is Danish so inexpressive a language? Not many Danish speaking umpires though...

Tursunov explodes

To the disappointment of many female fans Dmitry Tursunov exploded yesterday. The articulate American Russian was playing a nondescript doubles match in when he lost it and walked off. Tursunov was promptly booted out of the Nottingham tournament, fined and awarded the 25th seed for Wimbledon. Look for him to receive an enhanced media profile just in time for the biggest tournament of them all. We love tennis bad boys don’t we?

Nicole Vaidisova

Vaidisova made the Wimbledon quarter finals last year, at present her supporters will be cheering if she makes the second round. Yesterday she was beaten by Olga Govortsova, a solid up-and-comer, but really the sort of player a Top Ten player should gobble up and spit out the bones. Of course she’s hardly a Top Ten player anymore and at this rate will be soon out of the Top 30.

At least she didn’t give up like she did last week against Mattek. That was a depressing hint at her vulnerability and was hopefully only a temporary state. The wags at WTAWorld like to link her decline to tennis lothario Stepanek but let’s not assign blame. Vaidisova had a meteoric rise at a very young age, obviously there will be adjustments to her life, career and playing style. The adjustments to her life alone will be massive as she goes from unknown potential star to incredibly hyped talent to actual sporting celebrity and millionaire. If you compare her situation to that of Sesil Karatantcheva, who was a similar future star but is now restarting her career in debt after drug suspension, perhaps Nicole is not handling the pressure so badly after all.

I wish I would be interested in tennis

"Ich Wünschte, Ich Würde Mich Für Tennis Interessieren" - Tocotronic

from their 1996 album Wir kommen um uns zu beschweren (We come to complain).

Nadal king of Grass

Ignore the headlines. The first Spaniard in 36 years to win on grass doesn’t mean much since clay courters don’t normally play on grass. But Rafa’s win at Queens one week before Wimbledon is important. Coming on top of his demolition of the increasingly fragile Federer at Roland Garros his easy switch to grass looks ominous. The Championships awaits.

True Russian beauty Maria Kirilenko won in Barcelona which means nothing for Wimbledon as it was a depleted field. Still good to see a “thinking” player win for once rather than the usual baseline bashers. The other Bondarenko won in Birmingham which means even less.

Oh and some bloke called Federer won in Halle, apparently it’s in Germany.

The decline of German tennis

Talking to a German friend recently who stated that there were no good German tennis players. Of course he’s right. The country that produced Boris Becker and Steffi Graf now has only injury-prone Haas and the obnoxious Kiefer while the top female is the 17 yr old Sabine Lisicki. Lisicki may have potential but the others are past their use by date.

Compared to Graf’s 23 Grand Slam wins and Becker’s achievements (I think he won Wimbledon and grunted a lot) you can see why the Germans are down on tennis.

These days Steffi married some American and is presumedly happy while Boris is having tax problems and complaining about the women players grunting. Oh and making babies in broom closets. “Ich bin trin!” indeed.

Gonzo Tennis

The forehand known as Fernando Gonzalez was defaulted from Queens today for continued ball abuse and smashing his racquet. Ivo Karlovic was the lucky beneficiary. Gonzalez will likely be fined for the experience and probably won’t do it again until next time.

The Olympic gold medallist (doubles) has a history of a combustible moments, hitting lights-out forehands and dating a hot tennis player.

Karlovic, who is about 11 feet tall*, is famous for his serve and not smashing his racquets. Obviously he is not as idolised by fans as Gonzo. One can only wait till The Championships and hope Gonzalez will be given centre count and the opportunity to smash his racquets in front of millions of fans and his hot girlfriend. That’s what we pay money to see.

*Seriously, I saw him play at Melbourne Park, he is about 11 feet tall.

Grassphobes

So the claycourt season is over and the focus shifts to grass with Wimbledon only two weeks away. So the women are playing grasscourt leadups at Birmingham and Barcelona and the men at Queens (in London) and Halle*. All except for a handful of doubters who want to hold on to clay for as long as possible. They are at a tournament in Warsaw decrying that the biggest grasscourt tournament – make that the biggest of all tournaments - is almost upon them. They still want to play on clay.

Obviously these are the claycourt diehards who don’t give a damn about their likely results at The Championships. Their names: Davydenko, Robredo, Canas, Volandri etc

Nikolay Davydenko, who was once fined for not trying, is the world number 4 and once made the fourth round at The Championships, clearly he is not going to be seeded 4 at SW19.

*Halle is in Germany so I'm told

Hewitt and Malisse

Leyton Hewitt, who is best known for winning Wimbledon and marrying a hot actress, played Xavier Malisse today - yes it was a thrashing. Malisse is best known for dating Jennifer Capriati and being defaulted for endangering the life of a ballboy. He was a fine tennis player once – now he needs a wild card to get into Wimbledon. Haven’t seen much of Capriati recently either.

Hewitt doesn’t play as much as he used to and seems comfortable with the fact that he will no longer compete with the best players (ie TMF and Nadal) but just play 15 tournaments a year and make a few mill in prizes and endorsements. On the plus side he gets more time to watch the Crows and play with his kid. Oh and he doesn't have marital problems.

“Come Onnnnn!” indeed.

In minor news Rybarikova lost, Shvedova, Roddick and Czink won, Dellacqua lost and Erakovic continues to surprise.

The continuing travails of Hantuchova

Daniela Hantuchova withdrew from Eastbourne making it 10 consecutive weeks without the statuesque Slovak gracing the Women’s’ tour. 10 weeks too many.

The cleanest hitter (and biggest headcase – sorry Patty) on the Tour is a favourite of many and her return to the Top Ten after a long absence was a welcome sight. With her weight problems behind her she made a triumphant return to the elite ranks. Now the stress fracture in her right foot that kept her away from Roland Garros also threatens to sideline her from The Championships. Say it isn’t so.

Meanwhile shes been busy(?) modeling. Oh and Ivanovic pulled out of Eastbourne too. She has a condition known as stardom

Dominika Cibulkova

Dominika Cibulkova retired in the first round of Barcelona against Cohen-Aloro. It's pity, hope she is ok. The 19 year old Slovakian is a new star on the circuit and did well at the French where she lost in the fourth round to Jankovic.

She played mixed doubles at Roland Garros with her boyfriend Gael Monfils - who must be at least three times her height - and who used to date French cutie Alize Cornet. The new combination lost in the second round.

English cannon fodder

Rybarikova wins, Shvedova wins, Zakopalova beat Sprem and Lepchenko of the USA (no, really) won also. Hewitt and Safin beat English cannon fodder wild cards. The English did manage two wins on home soil though: O’Brien and Cavaday both managed to survive. Look for them to bow out gracefully soon though.

Nadal and Roddick had the day off and no doubt went to watch the Changing of the Guard practised.

What's next?

So the elites spread to the minor tournies before the next great bash. The men to Queens, Halle and Warsaw, the women to Barcelona or Birmingham. Except the most of the top players won't be playing. The top seed in Birmingham is Bartoli. meanwhile Sharapova, Jankovic, Safina, Venus and Serena are all resting. Roddick will be in London though - remember him?

Nadal crushes bunny

Perennial world No 2, Rafael Nadal dished out his usual beating to world No 1 bunny Roger Federer with a 6-1, 6-3, 6-0 win in the final of the French Open. Federer who typically adminsters such beatings to all others had no answer to Nadal and was bageled in the third as he lost the last nine games.

It's hard to feel sorry for the world No 1, but Nadal clearly did: "He did not play very well, otherwise this result would not have been possible. I did not prepare (for any celebrations). Today it was tough for Roger, I had to show respect." Nothing says respect like a bagel.

Ivanovic champion!

Third time lucky for Ivanovic.

Feel sorry for Safina, but I still think she was the player of the Tournament (excluding those named Nadal of course).

Tonight sees the next instalment of the continuing rivalry between the greatest player of all time and his nemesis. Club Feb vs Jet Boy.

Should be good.

No 1 Fist Pumper!

While fellow Serb Jelena Jankovic could only mock and choke, Ana Ivanovic fist pumped her way to the top spot. Just like Dementieva the day before Jankovic let a winning lead slip and is now off to “maybe get drunk”. Way to choke girl. The No 1 ranking was also on the line for whoever won which means Ana can celebrate before the final and Sharapova can shuffle off to practise on the grass courts and take Jelena with her.

Not that it matters who won today of course – the way Safina’s playing the Russian will win the final anyway.

Nadal is not Borg!

Clay court whiz Rafa Nadal reckons he’s not Borg and wishes everyone would stop reminding him he’s only two wins away from emulating He-who-shall-not-be-named’s four-peat at the French. Certainly no comparisons should be made until Nadal has any sort of similar success on grass – as a certain someone won Wimbledon how many times?

Meanwhile Club Fed has three losses at the French in the last three years, that’s three more than Rafa – how can he sleep?

Fed should make the final though. To do that he’ll have to beat a Frenchman. On clay, at Roland Garros – how hard can that be?

Sharapova reign short-lived

It ends before it’s hardly begun. Maria Sharapova will relinquish her No 1 ranking on Sunday, probably to the winner of the French Open. Not much of a reign, she received the top spot by default when Henin retired (and conveniently asked the WTA to remove her ranking). The self-confessed ‘cow on ice’ was always going to be under pressure at Roland Garros to live up to her ranking but may fair better at the Championships later this month.

After her choke-fest against Safina, Sharapova bowed out of the French in the fourth. “I can’t please everyone, that’s not in my job description,” she said. In four matches she managed 43 double faults and 199 unforced errors - with those sort of stats it’s hard to see who she’s pleasing. Boo-hoo indeed!

Meanwhile Monfils was warned for coaching – did the French fans cheer?