Iveta Benesova on a roll

One Russian left in Miami – who picked Svetlana Kuznetsova? Young tyro Caroline Wozniacki picked her time to make her claim for primetime and Elena the (almost) Great Dementieva was unlucky enough to be present. Dementieva is usually this unlucky. Wozniacki is in the soft Williams-less side of the draw and could go all the way to the final provided she can overcome Azarenka. Another Russian first though...

Wonderful latest skirmish in the ongoing war between the Hewitts and New Idea magazine. The gossip mag ran exclusive photos of Lleyton’s wife Bec with her “new man” and made up stuff about how special he was etc. Turns out to be her brother. You can’t make this stuff up (unless you’re New Idea). More lawsuits on the way. Meanwhile Lleyton and Bec are “still very much in love."

The delightful Iveta Benesova won again and is now only one Williams upset away from superstardom. Can she do it? The Stosur push on singles is paying off, Azarena next. Venus beat Radwanska and Serena beat Zheng, both matches harder than expected, Phau lost to Troicki, Ferrer overcame Cilic who outplayed him for most of the match, Del Potro beat Tipsarevic, Murray won, Nadal won and Wawrinka won.

It must be hot in Miami just look at Janko Tipsarevic.

Agnieszka Radwanska in Miami

Dinara Safina lost her number one chance when she was dumped by former doubles specialist Sam Stosur. Ana Ivanovic lost in three to Agnes Szavay who was mostly useless not that long ago. It’s becoming an upsetathon like Indian Wells, Jankovic lost to Dulko who lost to Benesova. IW champion Zvonareva managed to lose to Li Na. Like IW the men’s field is still strong but the women’s is disassembling, the only difference if that the Williams sisters are here to save the tournament – until the semi when at least one exits. No wonder Kim Clijsters is looking at the current top ten and salivating.

Also in Miami Dementieva thrashed Suarez Navarro, Petrova lost, Radwanska’s still going, Kuznetsova ended Vaidisova’s run, Azarenka ended Chakvedadze’s, Wozniacki is fast approaching the time to show what she’s made of, Qualifier Yakimova finally lost and Cibulkova couldn’t last the distance. Roddick ended Tursunov’s interest, Dent beat Robredo, Simon and Federer won, Monfils out-touched Safin, Tsonga and Djokovic continued their good form and Blake underwhelmed again.

Bjorn Phau’s good luck continued: after losing in qualifying he gained Gasquet’s spot when the latter threw a shoulder cavorting with the football cheerleaders. And since Gasquet was a seed Phau got to skip the first round and played Montanes in the second in a wonderful exhibition of poor serving until Montanes had enough and limped off. Now Phau is in the third round where he doesn’t have to play David Nalbandian who somehow managed to lose to Viktor Troicki. Lucky Loser indeed.

Another player to pose with the Miami Dolphin cheerleaders lost today – Tommy Robredo. A pattern methinks?

Richard Gasquet and the Miami Dolphin cheerleaders

Richard Gasquet is having far too much fun being a cheerleader in Miami.

Hewitt lost, luckily he has wild cards lined up at upcoming tournaments – he’s going to need them. Roddick won, Canas lost, Kiefer won, Safin won, Tsonga won, Fed and the Djoker cruised, Stoser won, Pennetta won, Vaidisova crushed Alona Bondarenko, Chakvetadze did the same to Hantuchova. Are these two finally back on track? Bartoli lost to qualifier Yakimova, Rybarikova took a set off Mauresmo, Dokic must hate to see Wozniacki’s name in the draw and Azarenka schooled Pavlyuchenkova. Ivanovic and Safina both clubbed their unfortunate opponents.

Tried to find something to say about Lisa Raymond’s Miami Blog but I just couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I’m sure it can’t be quite that bad.

Rafael Nadal and Ana Ivanovic in Miami

Jelena Jankovic has a documentary movie made about her called Jelena’s World.

Apparently tennis is the fastest growing mainstream sport in the US - whatever that means. Probably because it’s coming off such a low base...

In Miami Delic won, Querrey won, Tipsarevic won, Bolelli lost, Urszula Radwanska lost, Sprem beat Erakovic, Zakopalova lost, Lisicki won, Goerges won and Krajicek won.

Jon Wertheim’s SI Mailbag – read to the end for the pre-Rafaelite joke.

Jon Wertheim’s Twitter: http://twitter.com/jonstennistweet

A plastic skinned Maria Sharapova at some event.

Roger Federer in Miami

Serena wants to help the US get more tour events – no doubt she’ll suggest shipping that pesky Indian Wells tournament off to Europe in return for getting San Diego back. Serena said she could be interested in an admin role with the USTA, trying to entice tournaments back to the U.S and developing young talent. She’ll need help with the maths though – this is the same women who thinks “there are 12 Russians in the top 10”.

Lleyton Hewitt wants to move the Davis Cup clash with India in May from Chennai ala the IPL (Cricket tournament) which has been moved to South Africa for security concerns. Presumably they will move the D-Cup to a neutral venue.

Hewitt won, Clement lost, Ljubicic lost, Kukushkin beat Haas, Llodra lost, Nieminen won, Santoro won, the Dent comeback continues and 32 seeds went to sunbake or watch DVDs. In the women Dokic won, Rybarikova beat Rus, Pivovarova won, Vandeweghe got thrashed, Kirilenko won, Pavlyuchenkova won, Vaidisova won and Hantuchova took her usual three leisurely sets.

Maria Kirilenko complained in Indian Wells when she won more points than her opponent but still lost. Did she own up when the opposite happened in Miami yesterday and she won despite losing the majority of the points to Bondarenko the Lesser?

Still not playing tennis but Anna Kournikova gets to ring the Stock Exchange bell.

Fernando Verdasco moving on from Caroline Wozniacki already?

Kim Clijsters not finished yet

The other player from Belgian has decided to hit it one more time. Yep, Kim Clijsters wants a US Open Wildcard. She’s determined to be the top tennis player from Belgian and she should have no competition this time. First she’ll play the hit-and-giggle at Wimbledon in May, then another with Krajicek in the Netherlands in June, then World Team Tennis in July, then proper tournaments Cincinnati and Toronto in August. There are doubters, of course but won’t it at least be a bit more interesting with Kimmie back?

BTW can you really source an article to “Person at USTA”?

Larry Scott to resign?

Failed Roadmap designer Larry Scott will resign in July according to tennis.com . The wannabe mapmaker claims to have made "women’s professional tennis more popular than ever, the Tour in the strongest business position in its history”. He’ll be mainly remembered for l’affaire Peer and his failure to enforce the Williams sisters to do anything they don’t want to do. Meanwhile the WTA are now looking for a new super-villain CEO. Start putting your resumes in order.

Kim Clijsters wants a US Open Wildcard. Oh and Cincinnati and Toronto. Let’s assume she’s making a comeback.

Qualifiers for Miami include Sprem, Krajicek, Radwanska, Kukushkin, Kendrick, Isner and Dent. Going home (or hanging on a LL draw) are Voegele, Olaru, Pin, Rodionova, Groth, Phau and De Voest. Is the Karolina Sprem comeback finally on?

Good to see that the ATP powers that be have finally decided to finish a qualifying series before the real tournament starts. It must be annoying to the 11,470 people who think they can beat me in the ATP World Tour Draw Challenge (in fact only 4989 are beating me...) that you always have to submit the picks before the qualifiers are known. Usually this means picking a matchup of qualifier 4 against qualifier 5 which reduces any skilful matchup picking to guesswork. It’s about time some sense prevailed.

Miami - the fifth Slam?

Competition between tournaments is huge especially at the top end. Miami, Indian Wells and the end of year tournaments have all been described as the fifth Slam, usually only by the tournaments themselves or the winner. Indian Wells now suffers from the lack of Williams sisters, though this year's men’s field was strong and the top seeds all made it through to the final stages, unlike the women who bombed out everywhere. Only a 96 person field though.

Miami is owned by a certain company which sponsors half of world tennis and seems to have no end of promotion. It also has the Williams sisters and is more likely to cop the fifth Slam notation than IW in recent years but like IW only has a 96 person field and the silly first round byes for 32 seeds. Exactly why we need 32 seeds for a 96 player tournament is uncertain but probably related to the fact that we theoretically get better matchups later on. Unfortunately it means the first round is a snoozer.

The end of year tournaments are so lightly regarded by the players that many skip them and it’s hard to attach too much important to them. The WTA in its infinite wisdom is running a second end-of-year tournament in Bali for those not good enough to make it to the big one. Exactly how it will work has not yet been explained.

Nice to see Andy Murray and Venus Williams stop traffic in Miami. Luckily no one was injured.

Dinara Safina to take number one ranking?

So Serena stays at number one, calmly enduring the Safina challenge by skipping Indian Wells but it will be on again in Miami. Serena is defending champion and Safina’s only defending quarterfinal points so unless Serena wins the tournament it should be Safina’s for the taking. And we can then all flame her for being a overplaying Major-less number one.

Elsewhere Vera Zvonareva moved up to 5 (replacing Venus) and Azarenka zoomed into the top ten replacing Radwanska. Wozniacki’s next at 12 with Bartoli, Cornet, Pennetta and Cibulkova all treading water behind. Nothing’s happening with the men’s rankings, that fellow Nadal’s stretching his lead and the more tournaments Federer skips the further behind he’ll be. Murray is a chance to take Djokovic’s third soon but after that the gap back to fifth and the non-playing Davydenko is huge.

Elena Vesnina loses in qualifying

Justine Henin is to get her own TV show, meanwhile she organized the longest-ever toilet queue to set a new world record – this is what UNICEF Goodwill Ambassadors do, it’s not like she did it for fun. Hope she’s not doing reality TV.

Miami draws for men and women.

In qualifying for Miami, winners include Olaru, Pin, Krajicek, Rodionova, Voegele, Radwanska. Groth, Sprem, Kukushkin, Kendrick, Isner, Dent and De Voest. Going home already are Vesnina, Vinci, Larcher De Brito, Karatantcheva, Lapentti, Anderson, Johansson and Mahut.

Elena Vesnina must be ticked off. At 56 in the world she just misses out on the main draw (blame the Williams sisters for actually playing) and is seeded No 1 for qualifying. Then she pulls the wildly unpredictable Krajicek in the draw and now she’s off home already. Last week she was playing doubles with a superstar and everyone was talking about her, now she’s a first round qualifying loser.

Video: Looking for a Hero Photo Shoot

Rafael Nadal gets to bite a new trophy

It was nice of Andy Murray to show up for the final but he was non-existent in the match as Nadal powered home and Murray left to console himself with beating the greatest player of all time but not the greatest player of his time.

Murray’s awesome record against Federer was no use today against Pirate king Nadal who extends his lead as number one after demolishing a windswept Murray. Murray’s defensive supposedly rope-a-dope game was no use in the desert wind and Nadal is now the all-surface champion, easily adapting to everything.

So with the demise of Pacific Life the whale is gone and a nice delightfully ugly trophy for the winners to gnaw (Nadal) or look awkward holding (Bepa).

Womens’s qualifying draw for Miami, Men’s.

Vera Zvonareva wins Indian Wells

Vera Zvonareva beat Ana Ivanovic to win Indian Wells and make a major breakthrough for the former crybaby who’s now developing some real maturity. In a typical womens’ tennis break-fest the lead changed several times in the first set and Ivanovic had set points but the always underrated Zvonareva fought back to force a tie break and ultimately take the set. Ivanovic started the second well with a break but then wilted to lose six games straight. Last year’s champion will presumably lose all her remaining confidence and start refocusing on all her promotional activities that have plagued her tennis since becoming a bona-fide star at Roland Garros last year.

Zvonareva also teamed with beaten semi-finalist Azarenka to win the doubles and moves to number 5 in the rankings. Is she actually a Major contender now? We’ll have to wait till Miami and the return of the Williams sisters to see…

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova hits Primetime

Federer beat Verdasco, Nadal caused the tournament organisers heart palpitations before digging deep to overcome Nalbandian and Murray beat Ljubicic.

Fernando Verdasco sportingly gave Roger Federer a set and 4-1 lead before he started playing his quarterfinal but it was a little too much. He ripped back the lead to serve for the second set but lost momentum (distracted by rumours of he and the beautiful Caroline Wozniacki?) and lost. Federer should probably get some credit too...

Guess we all have to start learning to pronounce and spell Pavlyuchenkova (or copy and paste). She’ll play Ivanovic who benefited from Bammer’s no show. It’s Maria-lite Azarenka against Zvonareva in the other Semi. What’s the bet for an all-Russian final?

Pavlyuchenkova on Ivanovic: “I've seen a lot of her on TV and playing like this, so just I just know a little bit about her.” Probably just the fist pumps.

Victoria Azarenka will now hit the top ten. She’ll rise to 8 (title), 9 (final) or 10 (Semi) after Indian Wells. Radwanska will drop out. Pavlyuchenkova could go as high as 20.

Azarenka saves the WTA, defeats Safina

Safina faltered before the poisoned chalice of number one ranked player and Serena will retain. At least she’s deserving. Azarenka continues her charge towards the top ten, Wozniacki showed why she’s not getting there for a while yet and Radwanska isn’t leaving yet. Fed looked good when he wasn’t getting passed by Gonzo, Robredo pulled, the Djoker managed to win two tiebreaks and Roddick beat Ferrer.

So Victoria Azarenka saves the WTA by stopping the Major-less Safina’s chances of ascending to the top spot. Otherwise we go back to the nonsense when Jankovic was the Major-less top ranker and spends half her time trying to defend the indefensible. “Yep, I believe I really am the best player in the game – the fact that I can’t win any of the top tournaments and I’m only top cause I play more weeks than the others is not important.” Guess we do this all again next week in Miami...

Wozniacki and Verdasco?

Ana everywhere: “Sometimes I wish I could get away from everything and go somewhere where nobody knows me.”

Marat Safin in the desert

photo credit: GotoTennis

After the French men (Simon, Tsonga, Gasquet, and Mathieu) all lost yesterday, now only Jeremy Chardy is the last standing – hands up if you picked that?

Pavlyuchenkova beat up Llagostera Vives to make the quarterfinal. Safin lost (to Isner?!), Nadal beat Tursunov, Wawrinka beat Querrey and Wozniacki cruelly ended hopes of an all Radwanska final. Safina’s still in the hunt for the poisoned chalice and Zvonareva and Radwanska the Elder rolled onwards.

Tennis stars on Twitter?

Federer in the Onion.

Anna Kournikova in Haiti

Alize Cornet practising at Indian Wells

Like the Williams Sisters, Elena Dementieva did not want to play Indian Wells. Unlike them she didn’t have a good reason so she turned up, tanked her match against Cetkovska and had a good whinge afterwards. Ahh the Roadmap in action.

Jelena Dokic is skipping Miami, luckily there’s no Roadmap to force players to play.

Lazy Interviewer to Hantuchova after the Wickmayer match: Q. “Can you talk about the next round? I forgot who you're playing next.”

Hantuchova won, Pennetta ended Haynes surprising run, Ivanovic won, what is Llagostera Vives doing in the fourth round? Murray won, Gonzalez showed up chronic underachiever Blake, Verdasco pushed aside Gasquet, Ljubicic flattened Simon, Federer reached over Karlovic and the Radwanska sisters remain on track for a historic meeting in the final.

Bet no one picked Pavlyuchenkova vs Llagostera Vives for the fourth round. Daniela Hantuchova’s draw is clearing nicely – is it cocktail party time again?

Indian Wells practise babes. Thanks to GoTo Tennis. The guys are here.

Yes you can trust Agnieszka Radwanska she's not blonde. Umm but her sister is - is this a falling out or just another attempt at publicity?

Bethanie Mattek gets a website

Caroline Wozniacki will play Urszula Radwanska in the fourth round after both deposed of up-and-comers Glatch and Kanepi. Radwanska the Lesser is also still an up-and-comer while who knows how high the Woz will reach. Zvonareva rolled on, is Craybas having a late career resurgence or just lucky? All Vaidisova knows is that she’s on a plane again. Peer won the slump-off battle with Chakvetadze. Safina is still on track for the final and the poisoned chalice of number one.

Roddick won, Chardy scored an upset, is Del Potro back in form? Monfils isn’t and played all over the place against Isner who gratefully recorded the win. Djokovic, Safin and Nadal all took it easy while Tursunov sweated for his win. Querrey slew the Worm.

Bethanie Mattek has a website and as you’d expect from the look-at-me (almost) star it’s quite a sight to behold. www.bmattek.com .

Video: Wozniacki, Szavay and Chakvetadze strut the catwalk

Jelena Jankovic doesn’t care

Oh Elena. Murray won, Mathieu won, Gasquet won, Tsonga won and Simon laboured over Lu. Fed won, Szavay seems completely over her slump, Hewitt pushed Gonzalez but lost, Blake beat Nieminen. Haynes won, Pavlyuchenkova finally followed though on all that early promise by dumping Jankovic, Cornet was woeful, and Ivanovic struggled but won as did Hantuchova and Safarova lost to who?

Does Jelena Jankovic still care? “I’m struggling in this moment to find my game overall and find the confidence on the court,” she said. Which means I’m playing crap at the moment and should take some time off to go holiday but I can’t because Indian Wells and Miami are now mandatory events unless your name is Williams. Dementieva said ditto: “I think I should not have come here because I did not have enough time to recover after playing so many matches at the beginning of the year. I needed a much longer break to get ready to play at my best.”

Safina can still take the top spot if she makes the final, as the draw thins out this is becoming increasingly likely unless she doesn’t care too.

Fernando Verdasco finally breaks out of his shirt. Now if he can just bring this sort of intensity to the court...

Nicole Vaidisova wins two in a row

Kuz got rolled by Radwanska the lesser (Urszula), Peer keeps winning, Hewitt won, Benesova lost again to stable-mate Kvitova, Querrey might be a work in progress but he does Canas easily every time. Wozniacki thrashed Bacsinszky, Vesnina’s still in good form, Haas won and Davydenko went home hurt.

What’s with Suarez Navarro? Is she injured or is the haircut really that bad? Glatch has some talent but you have to think Suarez Navarro is falling badly. Azarenka toughed out a win against the improving Shvedova and Li Na pushed Schnyder one step closer to retirement. Is that really Nicole Vaidisova winning two in a row?

Quitter Djokovic had a whinge.

The formerly slumping Anna Chakvetadze won again and appears to have redone her website to celebrate. Certainly it was light and amateurish before but now appears to be unfinished. Who has an official player's website without a photo gallery? Nice home pic though. By the way is it the website that's Version 4 or Anna Chak herself? www.annachakvetadze.us

Li Na’s not-so-enthralling blog from Indian Wells. Yep, we know you like to shop, tell us about the tattoo.

Maria Sharapova’s comeback short-lived

The guys take the courts at Indian Wells in this strange world where pseudo-stars get byes and no-names play each other. Hewitt won, Nishikori lost, Gabashvili won, Starace won, Gulbis won, Darcis won his first match of the year and Moody Maria disappointed hordes of sweaty adolescents who suddenly became doubles fans when she underwhelmed and departed after a (not so) super tie-break.

Sharapova, who apparently wore a new Nike dress for the occasion (I’m glad someone notices these things) thinks the shoulder may be right for Miami but still hurts. Nice to see that she watched the Oz men’s final at 3am to see some Fed-Jet Boy magic.

Rybarikova lost, Stosur won, Haynes won, Oudin lost and Kirilenko managed to find yet another way to lose.

Oh and Federer hasn’t lost his potency at all...

Apparently Ana knows when to walk away.

Dokic’s out

Day one at Indian Wells – for the girls, the guys start tomorrow – and already Jelena Dokic’s going home. And she can take with her Erakovic, Bondarenko the Lessor, Lisicki, Brito, Krajicek, Dechy and Keothavong. Dokic was beaten by journey(wo)man Craybas and immediately started complaining about her exhausting schedule etc etc. Sounds like her recent good form may be transient (and the last four years of iterant whimsy a hard habit to lose).

Federer and Cahill have already called it quits? There’s nothing like a strong commitment to make a relationship work. They say it’s about travel, but I’m sure the critical moment was when Fed asked what he had to do to re-reach number one and Killer replied “Learn Spanish”. What Fed will eventually realise is that he needs to stop fantasying about the French and Grand Slam history and forget the dirt and concentrate on the rest that he was doing so well. Accept that winning three Majors a year is pretty good and it’s enough. And stop crying when you lose. We know how much you care but it’s the winner’s moment, have a cry later when the cameras are gone.

Mathilde Johansson goes live

Pin, Coin, Johansson, Bremond and Groth all lost in Indian Wells qualifying, de Chaunac, de Voest and Phau won. Gaston Gaudio (remember him?) won in Santiago.

Larry Scott tries to shift blame for L’affaire Peer.
“As the Dubai Open grew in prestige and prize money, the issue of hosting an Israeli player had never come up.” Really? How’s the head-in-the-sand approach working now?

The WTA and Indian Wells have dropped the silly idea that Serena and Venus Williams will be forced to do promotion for the tournament that they (quite rightly) refuse to play. They’ll do something later on that isn’t connected with Indian Wells and we’ll all pretend that we’re satisfied.

Melanie Oudin gets a write up.

Steffi leaves Sania speechless.

Mathilde Johansson goes live www.mathilde-johansson.com .

Camille Pin had a win in qualifying

Woman’s Day confidently announce it’s all over for Lleyton and Bec Hewitt. Bet they’re just jealous they didn’t get to pay the Hewitts A$85,000 for vapid stories of their mutual love.

Pin beat Klepac, Coin beat Karatantcheva, Olaru lost, Groth won and Voskoboeva lost in Indian Wells qualifying. Young Aussie tyro Bernard Tomic gets fined and suspended for his Dad’s behaviour, now that the Australian season is safely over and he won’t miss much.

Kim Clijsters will play Wimbledon – but only a hit-and-giggle to test out the new roof. She is practising six hours a day though, maybe she has another Wimbledon tournament in mind?

Yahoo blog slams the sisters. That’s a way to ensure unpopularity.

Wesley Moodie wanted a Business class ticket to back to South Africa to play D-Cup (South African players don’t get paid) and when he didn’t get it he skipped:
"Nobody seems to realise the sacrifices that South African tennis players are expected to make – and have made in the past to play for their country. Wayne Ferreira, at times, gave up huge appearance fees (called, ‘guarantees’) at ATP events to play for South Africa for relative peanuts. Unfortunately, national tennis associations worldwide are always going to rely on a players’ conscience and if possible, big money, to get them to play Davis Cup. Yes, I do want to play for my country regardless, but unfortunately the success of my career is solely determined by the ATP Tour and Grand Slams. That is where my primary source of income lies and that is where I have to strive to succeed. Call me unpatriotic and self-centred….I apologise. I love South Africa but I can’t make a living by playing for my country."

Arnaud Clement won his first ever Challenger title

Marion Bartoli crowned queen of Monterrey, ousting Li Na. Andy Roddick saves some US pride and Nadal made Djokovic’s weekend even more miserable. Israel had some revenge on Swedish protestors, Tursunov got Russian home and Lleyton Hewitt crashed against Thailand, luckily the initially overlooked Guccione was there to save an ungrateful nation. Youth brigade indeed.

Zhou won Melbourne, Paz won Fort Walton, Kustova won Minsk and Arnaud Clement won his first ever Challenger title in Cherbourg.

Anna Kournikova all tied up

Anna Kournikova got all tied up for some Ad campaign. That’s all very nice Anna but when are you going to play tennis again? You do remember tennis don’t you?

Maria Sharapova also vaguely remembers tennis – it’s that thing I do when I’m not modelling, right? Moody Maria has ditched the singles for Indian Wells but will play doubles with Elena Vesnina. Exactly why we’re not sure but I’m sure it’s to do with money since Sharapova’s not normally remotely enthusiastic about doubles. Probably because for a pro it’s almost a complete waste of time. But in the desert of financial uncertainly that is Indian Wells someone has to replace the Williams sisters as primetime TV candy and with the Serbs fading fast it must be Maria time. Otherwise the men will get all the coverage. Since it’s likely Maria hasn’t played doubles since age twelve somebody better explain her the rules. Remember you use the outside lines and have to tap your partner’s hand after every point, whether you win, lose or have no idea what you’re doing.

Federer has seemingly bowed to popular opinion and selected Darren Cahill as his coach, presumedly if he keeps losing to Nadal it’s now Cahill’s fault.

There’s some D-Cup going on amid the storms and apparently Blake’s still a headcase. Watch the US go down in a heap unless they’re saved (yet again) by the doubles. Safin still has it, it seems (but Simon doesn’t).

Maria Sharapova back for Indian Wells?

In Monterrey, King beat Szavay and Benesova beat Vinci. Elsewhere Kukushkin won, Santoro won, Clement won, O’Brien won, Hofmanova lost, Holland won, Rogowska lost and Lertcheewakarn lost.

Moody Maria practising lots but will she be ready in time for Indian Wells? (Do we really have to call it the BNP Paribas Open?) I’m guessing she pulls late and focuses on Miami. Although the shortage of Williams sisters in the desert does provide the perfect opportunity for her to grab all the limelight so she may be tempted to make an appearance even if she’s not completely ready.

You can get cheap tickets for the Davis Cup in the US on Ebay, Craigslist or whatever since Fed fans are dumping theirs in disgust at the great man’s upcoming no show. Is it possible for the USA to lose? You assume whenever Federer pulls for D-Cup that the Swiss go down for even though Wawrinka’s vastly improving he’s no cardigan wearing champion. Then when Switzerland might drop out of the prestigious world group Fed dons armour to do battle in the playoff and they stay to be easybeats in the first round next year. Yes, easybeats – if the US lose then they indeed are woeful. Anyone want cheap tickets to a possible upset?

Serena Williams hits the floor in New York

In Monterrey, Zheng won, Li Na won, Kirilenko retired before Safarova and Dulko won. Elsewhere de Chaunac lost, Santoro won, Hofmanova won, Clement won and Phau won.

Serena Williams has a new website www.serenawilliams.com Bout time! You can look at her top five songs or even create a theme song for her that she will use as her official theme music. Remember she likes Britney, Common, Beyonce etc so make sure it’s crappy but looks good.

The Williams Sisters won’t be at Indian Wells so will Serena drop the top spot to no-slam Safina? Probably not, assuming Marat’s little sis doesn’t make the final but if she does then she’s number one. But Serena is defending stacks of points next in Miami and Charleston and Safina’s not, so it’s likely to happen at some stage unless Serena wins all. Also possible is that the Slamless Dementieva wins both Indian Wells and Miami and takes the top spot, but let’s concentrate on one thing at a time and that’s Safina making the Indian Wells final and becoming the new focus of hatred from tennis purists everywhere.

Poor Casey Dellacqua wasn’t just unfit during the Aussie Open, she was also pumped full of painkillers. She’s out for six months after shoulder surgery.

Maria Kirilenko in Monterrey

In Monterrey, Rybarikova won, Zakopalova lost, Rus lost, Szavay won, Gajdosova Groth lost, Benesova beat Peer, Strycova won, Pennetta destroyed Craybas and Bartoli beat Krajicek. Elsewhere Kukushkin won, Bogdanovic won, Mahut won and Jenkins won.

Some exo in New York. The number one player in the world beat her sister after they both beat-up the Serbs

Nalbandian’s too sick for D-Cup – will he be replaced by arch enemy Del Potro?

Tennis underachiever turned glamour swimsuit model Maria Kirilenko poses in Monterrey. Also she actually wins a match!

More nonsense about Anna Kournikova making a comeback. Seriously, playing mixed doubles doesn’t signify anything – except a need for cash and publicity. If she really was thinking about a comeback she’d be playing singles (or doubles even), except if she did there’d be some much hype and hubris that it would probably be too much of a distraction and bury any serious efforts. That and that she may well be crap after five years of non match play. I think the only way we ever see her on the tour again is as a doubles specialist and I’m not sure that’s what she wants her legacy to be.

Yanina Wickmayer controversy continues with ‘he said, she said” claims of how bad it was. Wickmayer hit a fault serve backwards where it hit a linesperson and was immediately disqualified in the final of the 50K in Clearwater, gifting the title to Julie Coin who was a set down at the time. A peeved Wickmayer then skipped the doubles final and was penalised all her prize money and ranking points for both singles and doubles.
According to Julie Coin’s wonderfully fractured English (or a bad translation?):
"Yanina took a warning in 1st set at 2 / 2 after an umpire mistake and she was so upset she balanced a ball and the ball came out and almost hit someone in the public. After she exploded her racket ... .. short change aside the umpire asked her to calm down because otherwise the next time it's point. After 1 / 1 in the 2nd, I served a 1st ball out and she returned behind so nervous because I broke her, and unfortunately for her the ball went directly in linesman's head. It’s hard for her but that's the rule. Apparently the linesman is at the hospital and more than that because a moving jaw or teeth have something, I do not know too much. This is a story of crazy."
Apparently Wickmayer may have almost clocked a linesperson in the previous match but the debate seems to be did she just lash out at the ball without looking or did she catch the ball and then hit it (accidently) straight at the linesperson?

Andy Ram is now getting media attention. Someone tell him he’s only a doubles player.

The wacky Radwanska sisters

In Monterrey, Rus and Krajicek qualified, Safarova won, Arn lost, Kirilenko beat Erakovic, the retired Melissa Torres lost again and team Radwanska went 0 for 2.

The wacky Radwanska sisters, Agnieszka and Urszula, are fast becoming the rent-a-quote girls of the WTA with Aga complaining loudly about being forced to play in Paris instead of sunny Pattaya and both declaring they won’t play in Dubai again after their father was snubbed there recently. Seeing that little sis beat the top tenner in dubious circumstances it’s possible they weren’t treated like royalty. Still amongst the bland interviews given by those inhabiting the WTA ranks it’s good to see some breaking the trend. As long as they win enough to stay relevant.

The always interesting Yanina Wickmayer whacked a ball into a linesperson and was disqualified in the final of the 50K in Clearwater, gifting the title to Julie Coin who was a set down. A peeved Wickmayer then skipped the doubles final and was penalised all her prize money and ranking points for both singles and doubles. There are conflicting reports of how bad the linesperson was hurt.

Yahoo blog kicks Federer.

Boris Becker to remarry. Silly girl.

Andy Murray disappoints Scotland

Fish beat Korolev in Delray and Tomic won the Melbourne challenger.

Andy Murray plunged England Britain into dismay with the news that he won’t travel to Scotland to do battle with Ukraine Davis Cup style. With brother Jamie already scrapped from the team for being crap a doubles specialist, this means Team UK will be totally Murrayless and perhaps even more useless than normal. The Brit tennis honchos had planned a huge gala spectacular to celebrate Murray’s homecoming and the expected win over the might of the Ukraine and wanted to hold it in Scotland to cash in on Andy’s so-called success. Team UK was to play in kilts, bare-breasted with legions of pipers to support them and a massed cheerleader squad brandishing fearsome claymores and hurling bloodcurdling screams of support. And now there won’t be a Murray in sight. Andy’s sick. No word on whether there’ll be a recall for Greg Rusedski who was only recently told to go away and stop bothering busy people. I’m sure Greg would dress up in a kilt if it would get him a spot in the team and show that he’s relevant again. Canadians wear kilts don’t they?

Alize Cornet tribute site – not bad and has interesting multimedia. www.alize-dream.com/alize.html

Video: Alize Cornet spoofing “Moi Lolita”


In Monterrey qualifying, Arn won, Rus won, Krajicek won and Glatch lost.

Venus Williams wins in Acapulco

The grudge match between Venus 40 41 titles Williams and the indomitable Flavia Pennetta failed to live up to expectations with Venus thrashing her one time nemesis. In penance Venus was forced to wear one of the silliest hats in history. This result was supposed to be close as Venus is suspect on clay and indeed spent hours struggling to beat journey(wo)men to this far while Pennetta is dominant on clay and always plays well here. Guess Venus played herself in form. The Venus-Flavia rivalry is now three all.

Novak Djokovic took advantage of the top player drought in Dubai to clean up, Almagro beat Monfils in Mexico and Fish beat Chardy in a Delray semi.

In Monterrey qualifying, Arn won, Rus won, Jidkova lost, Glatch won, Zahlavova lost and Stevenson lost.